


Re: Harry's Crush

by lettersbyelise



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Harry Potter, Auror Ron Weasley, Banter, Bets & Wagers, Briefly But He Does, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter Friendship, Epistolary, First Kiss, Forensics Associate Zacharias Smith (PhD), Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, H/D Tropes Exchange Fest 2019, Harry Wears Eyeliner, Head of Forensics Draco Malfoy, Humor, M/M, Ministry of Magic (Harry Potter), Snark, Unspeakable Hermione Granger, Unspeakable Millicent Bulstrode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-07-12 19:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19951261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lettersbyelise/pseuds/lettersbyelise
Summary: Ever get that feeling you're being talked about behind your back? Harry doesn't, he's too busy being stupidly, obviously besotted with the guy in the lab downstairs.A fic where the interdepartment betting war at the Ministry gets out of hand, Millicent and Hermione get scheming, Harry Potter ends up wearing black eyeliner, and everybody ends up getting more than they bargained for.





	Re: Harry's Crush

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Saulaie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saulaie/gifts).



> This fic was written for the Trope “Bets and Wagers” for the [H/D Tropes Exchange Fest 2019,](http://www.hdtropes.tumblr.com) posting August & September 2019! 
> 
> Dear **Saulaie** , I was so happy to get you as a giftee. You're one of the artists I've admired ever since I joined the fandom, and I absolutely ADORE your art. I tried to include as many of your likes as I could in your gift - thank you for your awesome prompts, the "Bets & Wagers" trope was so much fun to write!
> 
> A huge thank you to my alphas/betas/fic doulas/fandom significant others: @diligent-thunder, @quicksilvermaid, @coriesocks. You are all very clever, funny, sexy humans <3 
> 
> Finally, thank you to the mods for organising this amazing fest!

**From: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Subject: Bet #1**  
**Status: Won**

Dear Mister Potter,  
This interdepartmental memo is to inform you that the bet you took last Friday night at the pub was rightfully won by Hermione Granger, Unspeakable (and colleague of the undersigned).  
As required by the betting rules, she successfully made Plinius Thompson, Head of the Department of Mysteries and blandest person to ever walk this earth, sing _‘Bewitch Me Baby, One More Time’_ by the Weird Sisters in a staff meeting.  
The fact that she achieved her goal by telling him it was the incantation for a new spell she was developing makes me wish she had Sorted Slytherin. Sadly, she’s a Gryffindor through and through. Let’s just say her recklessness has its advantages on occasion.  
So, in a nutshell: we won. You lost. Suck it.  
-Millicent Bulstrode

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Deadly Sins office, Level 10**  
**Subject: Bet #2**  
**Status: Won**

Dear Madam Bulstrode,  
This interdepartmental memo is to inform you that—  
You know what? YOUR turn to suck it.  
Team Aurors wins, Team Unspeakables LOSES.  
Ha.  
-Harry Potter

**From: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Subject: Bet #2**  
**Status: Won**

Man, that one was _embarrassing._ And you’re bragging about it?  
Sweet Merlin.  
-Millicent Bulstrode

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Deadly Sins office, Level 10**  
**Re: Re: Subject: Bet #2**  
**Status: Won**

The bet was to fart in a Ministry lift containing no less than three people. When Plinius, Kingsley and Gawain all walked into the same lift as me, I saw an opportunity and took it.  
You think I’m sorry? Nah. I hate those lifts with a passion. Just standing in one makes me shut down like I’m having a panic attack. Releasing some _tension_ felt pretty good, let me tell you. Along with the knowledge I was desecrating the birthplace of half of my nightmares.  
Plus, all our bosses were there and got to enjoy it. The funniest part was everybody giving each other the side eye and wondering… ‘surely it cannot be _Harry Potter_ who…?’ The benefits of being the Saviour of the Wizarding World, eh? Which means I had double the balls to do it, so the Unspeakables are paying double the rounds next Friday.  
Cheers!  
-Harry

**From: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #2**  
**Status: Won**

Tsk. Didn’t I mention something about reckless Gryffindors, last time?  
Fine. You win. By the by, will ~~your boyfriend~~ Draco join us for the next pub night?

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Deadly Sins office, Level 10**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #2**  
**Status: Won**

How would I know? Stop calling him my boyfriend. It’s ridiculous. We’re friends. That’s all.

**From: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #2**  
**Status: Won**

Oh, just _innocently_ enquiring about my dear friend Draco, that’s all.  
You usually seem to know an awful lot about his schedule, is all I am saying.

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Deadly Sins office, Level 10**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #2**  
**Status: Won**

Only because he’s Head of Forensics, and I’m often in his lab. For _work-related reasons._

**From: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #2**  
**Status: Won**

Riiiiight.  
_Work._

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Deadly Sins office, Level 10**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #2**  
**Status: Won**

I know what you’re doing, and ~~Ron says~~ I should stop enabling you. Just go back to the dark hole you call an office, and think of a harder bet, next time.

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Subject: Bet #3**  
**Status: Won**

Hi Harry!  
Millicent won your bet! But you already know that, I think. After all, you were in the cafeteria queue with us while Millie lectured the lunch witch on a series of cat facts (all of them alarmingly untrue).  
The difficult part of the task was to last for a total time of four minutes, and she filibustered for SIX WHOLE MINUTES (Ron was more pissed about the time he lost on his lunch break than about losing the bet. Ask him. He whinged about it all evening yesterday).  
Anyway! Sorry, sweets. I’ll admit it’s fairly hard to beat me. Or Millie. I’ve a renewed respect for my cold hearted, strong-willed colleague.  
Love,  
-Hermione

**From: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**To: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable, also Best Wife in the World, Sorry I won against you, love <3**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Time-turner Research office, Level 10**  
**Subject: Bet #6**  
**Status: Won**

Hi love,  
I managed to say the names of five vegetables during our staff meeting this morning and Harry chimed in and added three more, so technically Team Aurors wins one more round.  
Between Harry’s previous uncontrollable farting and me replacing the word ‘wand’ with ‘aubergine’ when Robards asked me about our latest investigation, our boss is starting to worry about our (physical and mental) health.  
Whatever. It was worth it.  
See you tonight, babe.  
Love you <3  
-Ron  
PS: Harry says ‘suck it,’ but you know I’d never.

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable, it’s all right, darling, don’t worry, Millie and I will win the next one <3**  
**To: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Subject: Bet #6**  
**Status: Won**

Oh, Ron, you know you don’t have to ask me to _suck it._ I never do anything if not wholeheartedly.

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Time-turner Research office, Level 10**  
**Subject: PLEASE STOP**  
**Status: I beg of you**

Or at least label your explicit correspondence to your boyfriend as ‘PERSONAL’. Please remember I also read the memos. And now I’m scarred for life.

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Ministry cafeteria, in front of a half-eaten roast beef sandwich, probably**  
**Subject: Auror/Unspeakable Betting War**  
**Status: Don’t give a tiny Flobberworm’s arse what the status is**

Hello Weasley,  
As you are well aware, your dear friend Potter asked me for a favour yesterday. Said favour contributed to your team winning the most recent installment of your ridiculously childish ‘betting war’ (ugh).  
My question is, am I getting paid for my time?  
Regards,  
-Draco Malfoy

**From: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Subject: Auror/Unspeakable Betting War**  
**Status: Pretty sure you DO give a tiny Flobberworm’s arse, Malfoy**

‘Lo, ~~Ferret Face~~ Malfoy,  
_Paid?_  
Like you _didn’t_ thoroughly enjoy helping Harry with that bet.  
Cheers,  
-Ron Weasley

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Ministry cafeteria, that roast beef sandwich must be gone by now, you absolute glutton**  
**Re: Re: Subject: Auror/Unspeakable Betting War**  
**Status: Stop with the insinuations, please**

Dear Weasley,  
I am sure I don’t know what you mean.  
It was a chore and a half.  
-Draco Malfoy

**From: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Subject: Bet #9**  
**Status: Won (I cannot believe it, you—)**

Hey Draco,  
A little birdie told me it was _you_ who helped Potter with that perfect winged eyeliner he was sporting yesterday (which was — what a coincidence! — the challenge I laid down: wear black eyeliner for a full day at the Ministry).  
I’m sorry we left you out of the betting game, babes. You see, you weren’t at the pub the night it was launched (your dear lab mate, Zacharias Smith, was, though. Perhaps you should blame him, he who hasn’t even the common decency to let his colleagues know he’s leaving for the pub).  
As much as it pains me to see a fellow Slytherin excluded from the fun, Draco, rules are rules: only the people present on that fateful night can play. Next time, please consider that, lest you get your BFF _de facto_ excluded.  
Cheers, babes.  
-Millie  
PS: Well done, though. Potter looked _delicious_ with eyeliner, didn’t he?

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Subject: Bet #9**  
**Status: Won (at what cost??)**

Dear Draco,  
Look, I don’t want to sound like a wet blanket, but participating teams are supposed to win bets all on their own.  
Helping is cheating.  
Regards,  
-Hermione Granger

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Time-turner Research office, Level 10**  
**Re: Re: Subject: Bet #9**  
**Status: Won (oh sweet Merlin. How long are we going to argue about this)**

Dear Granger,  
I prefer the term ‘consultancy’.  
Regards,  
-Draco Malfoy

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #9**  
**Status: Won (are you kidding me right now?)**

Dear Draco,  
Harry could have asked Ron for help.  
Regards,  
-Hermione Granger

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Time-turner Research office, Level 10**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #9**  
**Status: Won (okay now)**

No offense, but _Weasley_ applying _decent eyeliner?_  
Scoff.  
-Draco Malfoy

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #9**  
**Status: Won (stop being an arse)**

Draco,  
Did you _actually_ write the word ‘scoff’?  
-Hermione Granger

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17 (near that cauldron that always oozes navy blue smoke, I reckon)**  
**Subject: Bet #9**  
**Status: Won (sorry!!)**

Hey Draco,  
Wow, I didn’t anticipate the epic proportions this would take on.  
Sorry I asked you to help. You seemed like the best person for it, though. I’ve seen Ron’s handwriting. I don’t trust him with a pencil around my eyes. And you looked like you could handle some more… delicate… er… tasks.  
Anyway. Thanks.  
-Harry

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Subject: Bet #9**  
**Status: Won (don’t be sorry)**

Harry,  
Are you saying my long, delicate gay fingers are better equipped to put make-up on you?  
-Draco

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Re: Subject: Bet #9**  
**Status: Won (uh.)**

Draco,  
I never said anything about gay.  
-Harry

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #9**  
**Status: Won (it’s fine)**

I’ll admit I’ve done much gayer things than this in my life.

**From: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**To: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Deadly Sins office, Level 10 (I know you’re in Millicent’s office, love. At some point, you’re going to have to stop pretending you’re NOT friends with that mad Slytherin bint)**  
**Subject: [PERSONAL] Harry’s ‘issue’**  
**Status: not betting war-related**

Hey love,  
Remember when we talked about Harry’s crush on Malfoy?  
Well. I don’t know exactly what Malfoy did to Harry the other day, when he put eyeliner on him down in his lab, but Harry came back with pink cheeks, wearing a big, deranged smile. He was a mess, I’m telling you. I swear he stared at the wall across his desk for a good half hour.  
If I didn’t know why he’s acting like this, I’d actually be worried.  
Should I tell him?  
Love,  
-Ron

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**To: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Subject: [PERSONAL] Harry’s ‘issue’**  
**Status: not betting war-related**

That he’s desperately in love with Draco?  
I don’t know, Ron. If he hasn’t realised yet, it seems cruel.  
Love,  
-Hermione

**From: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**To: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Deadly Sins office, Level 10 (hope you’re not letting Millicent read over your shoulder!!)**  
**Re: Re: Subject: [PERSONAL] Harry’s ‘issue’**  
**Status: not betting war-related**

Seems crueler not to tell him.

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**To: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Re: Re: Subject: [PERSONAL] Harry’s ‘issue’**  
**Status: not betting war-related**

Of course, _I_ would rather know, in his place. But that’s _me,_ isn’t it? Knowledge is lucidity, lucidity is power, power safeguards against going through life without noticing you’re madly in love with ~~a Slytherin git~~ your soulmate, etc.  
But what do you think would be best for him?  
Love,  
-Hermione

**From: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**To: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Deadly Sins office, Level 10 (Fine. I’m going to _assume_ you’re not showing any of this to Millicent)**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: [PERSONAL] Harry’s ‘issue’**  
**Status: not betting war-related**

Harry would tell you Malfoy is not a git anymore.

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**To: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: [PERSONAL] Harry’s ‘issue’**  
**Status: not betting war-related**

Still, Harry is hardly objective. I think it’s the whole goggle-wearing, crisp white lab robes-sporting, cartoon mad scientist look that Malfoy has going on for himself these days.

**From: Ronald Weasley, Senior Auror**  
**To: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Deadly Sins office, Level 10**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: [PERSONAL] Harry’s ‘issue’**  
**Status: not betting war-related**

I could have lived a happy, carefree life without the knowledge that my best mate had a thing for blond gits in goggles and white lab robes, but you _had_ to remind me, didn’t you?  
:)

**From: Zacharias Smith, PhD, Forensics Associate**  
**To: Millicent Bulstrode**  
**Location: Department of Mysteries, Deadly Sins office, Level 10**  
**Subject: FML**  
**Status: FML times a thousand**

Dear Bulstrode,  
Would you please make your next bet something along the lines of ‘Potter cannot come down to the Forensics lab for at least a WEEK,’ because this just won’t stand.  
It’s either Potter hovering by the beakers, poking his fat fingers in the petri dishes, messing with DMLE evidence, and giggling like a schoolgirl with Draco, **OR** an extra moody, extra quiet Draco on days when Potter doesn’t show up.  
All things considered, I prefer the latter, but no matter. This whole awkward dance has to stop. I’ve work to do. This isn’t conducive to a productive work environment. Find a way to END IT.  
Regards,  
-Zacharias Smith, PhD

**From: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**To: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Time Nerds office, the one next to the cool one (mine)**  
**Subject: Bet #11**  
**Status: Proposal**

All right. That’s IT.  
Since we’re being nagged left and right about it (you may have chosen to live with Weasley, but nowhere does it say I have signed up on receiving pissy memos from bloody Zacharias Smith, _bloody PhD),_ I’ve an idea for the Aurors’ next bet…  
Meet me at the cafeteria when you’re done researching whatever nerdy stuff you get off on.  
-MB

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**To: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Ministry Cafeteria (you forgot your cardigan when you left, shall I bring it down to your office?)**  
**Re: Subject: Bet #11**  
**Status: (excellent) proposal**

I love it. Let’s do this.  
-HG

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Subject: Bet #11**  
**Status: Pending**

Hi Draco,  
Mmh. The Unspeakables sent me the next challenge. I’m going to need your help. Again. I think?  
Can I come down to the lab?  
-Harry

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Subject: Bet #11**  
**Status: Pending**

Hi Harry,  
The last time I helped, it earned me a mild scolding from your friend Granger. She’s incredibly hung-up when it comes to rules.  
Besides, Millicent told me she’d cut my balls off and wear them as earrings if she caught me helping you again. We can’t have that. As much as I care about my balls, I think we all agree they’d make the world’s most distasteful jewelry.  
-Draco

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Re: Subject: Bet #11**  
**Status: Pending**

Thing is… you’re explicitly mentioned in the bet.  
So I think they both expect your participation.  
-Harry

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #11**  
**Status: Pending**

Oh?  
I’d offer for you to come to the lab, but Smith’s forehead vein is already bulging from all your memos flying in and out, so maybe stay away for now if we want to avoid a vein-tastrophe?  
-Draco

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #11**  
**Status: Pending**

Fine.  
I’m too embarrassed to discuss this face to face, anyway.  
Please find the bet attached to this memo.  
-Harry

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #11**  
**Status: Pending**

Harry,  
Memo (and bet) received.  
_Oh._

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Bet #11**  
**Status: Pending**

See?  
This is even more embarrassing than I feared.  
Ugh.

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Subject: Okay.**  
**Status: Pending**

Harry, wait—  
I never said I wouldn’t do it.

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Subject: Okay. (Okay?)**  
**Status: Pending**

You’d be keen?

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Re: Subject: Okay. (Did I stutter?)**  
**Status: Pending**

Anything to help a friend.

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**To: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Ladies’ Room, stall 5**  
**Subject: OMG IT’S HAPPENINGGGGGG**  
**Status: Absolute chaos**

OH. MY. GOD.  
_ohmygod._  
MILLICENT.  
IT _WORKED._  
Draco was waiting in the queue for lunch when Harry just. Walked up to him and. Grabbed him by the front of his lab robes and. KISSED HIM.  
GOT ON HIS TIPTOES AND ALL!!!  
It was the most adorable thing!!!!!  
MILLS. GET OUT HERE. PEOPLE ARE _CHEERING._  
-Hermione

**From: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**To: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Ministry cafeteria, table 3**  
**Re: Subject: OMG IT’S HAPPENINGGGGGG**  
**Status: I’m trying to take a WEE here!**

Oh fuck me, I take ONE (1) bathroom break and these two idiots KISS??  
I’m coming, I’m coming. God.  
-Millicent  
PS: tell me _everything._ Was there tongue?  
PPS: you call Harry and Draco kissing _adorable?_ Girl, _please._ Come up with a more accurate description next time.

**From: Hermione Granger, Unspeakable**  
**To: Millicent Bulstrode, Unspeakable**  
**Location: Ladies’ Room, hand dryer 2**  
**Re: Re: Subject: OMG IT’S HAPPENINGGGGGG**  
**Status: all hell breaking loose, etc.**

Draco totally slipped him the tongue. Harry looked like he couldn’t. Get. Enough. ‘For a bet’, my arse. They’re LOVING IT.  
And, yes, it was uncomfortably hot, okay? It’s my best friend we’re talking about. It’s like watching family kiss. But hotter.  
Okay now, people are shooting confetti and Kingsley has been gaping for a good two minutes and the lunch witch is holding her face and crying tears of joy. IT IS CHAOS (happy, blissful chaos).  
WHAT’S TAKING YOU SO LONG??  
-Hermione

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Subject: Tonight?**  
**Status: Pending**

Hi Draco,  
Thank you for helping me win the bet.  
It was ~~Good. Amazing. Fucking mind-blowing. Merlin your tongue.~~  
It was good.  
Yeah.  
Okay.  
So it’s pub night tonight and all, but I was wondering if you’d like to go out for dinner instead?  
(It would be cool. No pressure. I’m breezy.)  
Cheers,  
-Harry

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Subject: Tonight?**  
**Status: Accepted**

Harry,  
Sitting all night on a sticky leatherette seat squished between a drunk Weasley and an equally drunk (but still abysmally dour) Smith, or having dinner with you? Hmm. My heart wavers.  
I’m kidding. Let’s ditch those dolts and find something a little more civilised.  
-Draco  
PS: actually writing that you’re ‘breezy’ kind of defeats the purpose, Potter.

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Re: Subject: Tonight?**  
**Status: Accepted (Cool. Cool cool cool.)**

Draco,  
That’s brill. I’ll pick you up at 5?  
-Harry  
PS: you know what the others are going to do tonight, if we’re not at the pub? They’ll probably start a betting pool on whether or not we’re somewhere shagging.

**From: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**To: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**Location: Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Cubicle 4, Level 2**  
**Re: Re: Re: Subject: Tonight?**  
**Status: Accepted (Smith is giving me the side eye)**

Harry,  
5 o’clock is perfect. Looking forward to eating out.  
Dinner, I mean.  
-Draco  
PS: oh, another betting pool, you say? That’s one bet I’m willing to put good money on.

**From: Harry Potter, Senior Auror**  
**To: Draco Malfoy, Head of Forensics**  
**Location: Forensics Lab, Level -17**  
**Re: Re: Re: Re: Subject: Tonight?**  
**Status: Accepted (Deal and deal)**

Draco,  
Let’s win the _fuck_ out of this thing.  
-H

**Author's Note:**

> Woop. I love kudos and comments!!
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lettersbyelise)!


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